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It's not fair to him.I think that's when the light started to dawn on me.Ed was being so nice. And his friends were being nice, too. I now know why he valued his friends so much. I had a feeling he asked them to come sit with us. And they were friendly, they included me in the conversation, Mike asked me about Trig. I realized, it was like talking to Ed yesterday. I forgot, for a few minutes, how naked I was.That's when I made a decision. No more 'woe is me' stuff, not about The Program. It wasn't going to be easy, but I was going to stick it out. I was going to try to relax about it as much as I could.I didn't think I'd ever enjoy it, per se, but Ed deserved to. He didn't need me bringing him down.Anyhow, lunch was over, and it was time to go to Bio. Ed, Jared, Amanda, and Maggie all walked with me.The guys were stopping me, as usual. I was getting felt up, as usual.After one, Amanda asked me, "Why do you get all stiff and vacant when they do that?" I don't like it much," I. I don't mean for you to sleep with me. I just want to be of help to you somehow."Josh nodded with a weak smile and walked away. When he arrived back home at the apartment, he felt more depressed than ever. For the past few days he had searched everywhere he could think of. Their own haunts and places Victoria had mentioned were she used to go before they met. Every long haired blond he saw reminded him some how of Victoria. He even looked at girls that had any resemblence of her.He had received an eviction notice to be out of the apartment by June 30th. This, of course, came from Bellform who owned it. He took that gray pewter satin blouse and buried his face in it. It was full of her scent since she had worn it last week and tossed into the dry cleaning bag. How could Victoria do this to him? His heart was shattered in a million pieces. If he knew for sure that she was dead, he would kill himself too. The painful memories of her tore his insides. He started crying.Two years later,.
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